The 16th of August, year 2004.
It was an unusual afternoon.
Instead of the usual chaos that goes with the rush of getting to school on time, the day started for me with the sight of the window reflecting the tropical Manila sunlight.
Surprised, I rushed out of the room and into the den.
Silence filled that room. Deafening silence.
Moments later, I see my mom arriving home with a melancholy composure. My uncle with him. We went back up to the room and that's when she broke the news to me.
My father of forty-four years is now gone.
It didn't sink into me yet. But days down the line, as we lowered down his body into that grave, I knew that my video game buddy and foodie friend is going to be gone forever. During that moment, my mother comforted me with the idea that I still have another father - our Heavenly Father. Being a kid then, I wouldn't settle for that. I wanted him back. I didn't mind if his long battle with hypertension would mean that if he made it out alive during his last battle that August afternoon of 2004 that he would be like a vegetable, I just wanted him by my side. To have someone guide me in every decision I would make as a man - from the smallest of things to the biggest decisions like who would I marry.
Fast-forward to 2013.
It has been years down the line. Ten years, to be exact. And with him being gone for that long, I slowly but surely through the years was able to accept the reality that hit me that day. I don't know how I was able to do so, let me go ahead and be honest with you. But if there was one piece of encouragement that stuck with me all these years, it's that I know my Heavenly Father is with me every single step of the way. That through Him, I don't need to live in the aftermath of that day; He is by my side, I may not see it, each and every day that I would live on this earth.
I found myself in a circle of about twenty people for this year's celebration of Father's Day. It was almost 11:30 in the morning then. If I had not gone to the ACF getaway, I would find myself preparing to assist the multimedia technician for the afternoon's worship service at my church. But yeah, I found myself in that circle at a cottage in Quinte West.
One by one, we talked about our relationships with our Heavenly and Earthly Fathers. I rarely tell the story, to be honest with you, so I couldn't blame some of the people's facial reactions when I told the story of my Earthly Father's sudden departure. But leading to the discussion, I found myself reflecting on Psalm 136.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. (Psalm 136:1)The chapter goes on to tell how God delivered His chosen people from the yoke of slavery in Egypt to the promised land. But as far as yesterday was concerned, verse one just stuck to me.
Indeed, He is good.
Indeed, His love goes on forever.
Ten years is a long time. A couple television shows, getting lost in my faith and getting back, and migrating to Canada has happened to name a few during that time being. There would be days that I wish I still have him by my side. Knowing how big of a foodie he could be, I'm sure he would love to have migrated here. (Not to mention, his father a.k.a. my grandfather is also based in here.)
But... I can't change the past now.
The only thing I could hold on to is the fact that my Heavenly Father is with me. He wasn't enough for me then. But now, He is more than I could ask. That when I thought that I would have to force myself to survive this life without a father-figure, He was there.
Thank You for being so constant, Jesus. For being only good.
As a song would say, not for a moment did You forsake me. And indeed, all this time You were there.
